“Hey Dec, you know how George was talking about making the most of his time, you know while it lasts, it got me thinking. If I die before you, don’t go into the jungle just to remember me, pass take away on to someone else and Britains got talent for that matter. I don’t want you living your life miserably just so that you can remember me. You need to move on. Please for me. Don’t waste your life”
Ant looked like he was about to cry. He had stopped himself before to look strong but he was unsure how much longer he could hold on. Dec himself was practically crying. So when Dec came over and lay on the bed next to Ant hugging himself as close as possible to Ant, Ant couldn’t resist and started crying.
“What’s broght this on all of a sudden Ant? Is something wrong do you have cancer or suman?” Asked Dec after a while before snuggling himself even closer on Ant’s chest.
“No, i was just thinking, our life, it’s like a game except that we never know when it will end. I don’t want you to feel obliged to keep up a Memory of me. That’s all. I’ve decided to live each day as if it were my last so that when my time comes, I’ll be… not ready… but then again not completely unprepaired. Each day for the next week I am going to tell you something else i want you to know. I can only think of seven things right now, but who knows their might be more. “
“are they all going to be this sad though? Cos i’m not sure how much more of news like this I can take.”
“No the others aren’t going to make you cry. I hope anuways, but you have to promise that whatever i tell you over the next few days, if you don’t agree with some of them you’ll still se me as the Ant you’ve known for the past twenty years. Please.”
Silence ensued only to be broken by Dec
“Ant… Can i stay here tonight? Only I’m kind of shook up from what you said. Like… in you’re bed… like we used to? “, “I get if you don’t want to though.” Dec added after yet another silence
“Nah Dec please stay I don’t think i want to be alone tonight either. “
The lads lay in silence, Dec still resting on Ant’s chest, listening to the soothing sound of Ant’s heart beat. He felt so comfortable there. So much so that he fell asleep. So much for the afternoon golf then.
It was in that position that Dec woke up to hours later due to the sound of Ant’s rumbling stomach. Laughing softly he tried to roll of only to find Ant’s arm wrapped protectively arroung him, holding him in palce as if he were a teddy bear. Feeling Dec move brought Ant out of his daze like state (he had also been woken up slightly because of his rumbling stomach).
“whaaa?” he murmerd
“Ant, as much as i love being your human teddy bear, you’re stomach is rather hungry and so am i. Dinner time!”
“Haha sorry mate. I didn’t even know i did that. I don’t sleep like that with Lisa. Wonder where that came from. “
Ohhh i think i know thought Dec, he had trained Ant all those nights ago, when they shared a bed but he normally managed to escape before Ant woke up.
“Yeah, you’d say that. You just can’t keep your hands off of me can ya? For that you can pay for my dinner!”
“Oh all right.” said Ant still blushing slightly he oppened the door bowed slightly and with a small “Madame” ushered Dec out of the door.
“So are you going to give me a nice piece of news tonight or do i have to wait until tomorow?”
“Tomorow is best”
“You just want to sleep with me don’t ya?”
“Why of corse, dear. How’s the wine. Am I a good first date? Will I get a good first nights kiss”
The lads laughter was strained. But they had to laugh. What else could they do?
"Dec, you know how there's always a domminant person in a relationship and someone who gets dominated?"
"Yes Ant, and i know that although you're the moody one and i'm the super cheery one, i dominate you"
"Yea see that's the thing. I don't like it how you decide when you want me and when you don't. I don't think you've realised i've fallen for you. I don't think i can just be you're fuck buddy when you feel the need to be appreciated. I thought i could live this way but i guess i was wrong"
"But Ant, if anyone decides its you. You've got lisa so we have to be so careful and their are some nights when it just hurts too much to face you so i have to stay away. I'm sorry. i know i should grasp every oportunity but it just kills me when i see you return to her evrytime as if i meant nothing to you. It stops me from hurting too much i guess"
"Aww Deckers don't cry. You should of said something sooner. I'm an idiot for not seeing!"
"No i'm the idiot for not telling you. But now that it's out, what's it going to change? We still can't be together, especially if you have a baby with Lisa. Don't you sometimes think we should just quit whilst we're ahead?"
"All the bloody time. But then i see you and i remember why we're in this mess in the first place. We were meant for one another, it would be stupid to change that. We'd just be miserable so then i decide i will put up with Lisa for a while longer until the public leave us alone and then i will be all yours."
"Yeah, spose you're right. We'd better make the most of it ay?"
Just as they were entering Ant's room (in case Dec decided he needed to escape again) Ant's phone rang. "Lisa"
"Oh, i'll leave you."
"No need. I'll tell her i left my phone at the trial area. I'm in Aus. I'm alll yours baby! Now where were we?"
that was the first night since there arrival in australia a few weeks ago that Dec spent the whole night in Ant's bed, wrapped up in his arms. HE knew full well Ant would pay the consequeces tomorow when they arrived on site but until then life was good.
For one night, Dec slept the whole night without having a single nightmare and Ant stayed half awake for th first few hours dreading the moment Dec left before falling into a deep sleep.
The next morning, Ant woke up by a ringing phone to find and curled up into his body. THat was the best birthday present anyone could give him.
"Dec do you want the others catching on to us or something?"
"What do you mean?"
"The way you acted after talking about Colind and justin and saying remind you of anyone. You were real camp."
"Relaaax it'll just make our slashers happy"
"Ay but it'll probably make the paps more curious. It'll make our life out here that bit harder."
"Sorry. I thought it'd be better if i did that than acted badly, surely then they'd be even more suspicious no?"
"Ach Dec i dunno"
"I'm sorry. Forgive me?" Dec asked pouting
"How can i be mad at yous when you look at us like that? come ere"and with that Ant pulled Dec onto his lap and kissed him.
" Now lets get crazy drunk and then make love. How does that sound?"
"perfect. I love you"
"I love you moore" Before Dec could retaliate Ant had swooped him into another kiss.
"Dec mate, don't you think we should stop pretending we're gay and act less camp on the telly?"
"Why Ant? It's only a bit o fun. No one takes it seriously i mean how many lads do you know who've worked together so long in the public eye? Of course questions are going to be asked. We spent so much of our life together. We know everything about one another. Well almost everything"
"But that's just it."
"What? What's just it?"
"Well that it's just a laugh. i dunno it's hard to explain. You know like when people are all telling you that you have a crush on someone or that you love them but you don't and eventually you hear it so often you start believing it, well i think something like that might be happening"
"You mean, becaus half of britain think we're destinned to be together you're starting to believe the?"
"I'm saying because half of Britain think we're gay, I'm starting to question just how natural my feelings are towards you. Don't you ever feel like that?"
"Errrr well to be honest... no"
"Oh. Oh God i can't believe i brought this up just forget it, please. It's probably just fatigue or something. Don't worry i won't get you drunk and snog you senseless. Sorry. I'll leave you alone ay?"
With that Ant started walking, he wasn't too sure where he just knew he wanted to get away. He needed to be alone with his feelings and give Dec some space so they didn't feel uncomfortable. If he knew one thing it was that he couldn't live without Dec in his life.
"No! Wait Ant, what i meant by no was that i didn't think it was because of the public. I... oh gosh i can't believe i'm saying this but I guess that as you said your bit, i might as well say mine too. I know for a fact I love you. I have for so so long but then you married Lisa and i gave up. Or at least tried. I would have done anything to be with you and i probably still would but i just couldn't risk our friendship. I'm only telling you this now so you don't feel so bad. But don't worry Ant, if I managed to keep it a secret this long and restrain myself i can definitly keep the pretence up. We don't have to stop being friends just because i love you. In fact you could even use it to your advantage"
"Are you takin the piss"
"Erm. No i was being serious why were you?"
"No. But i wasn't fully honest with yo. i've always felt something special when i was arround, something i don't feel with anyone else, not even lisa. I just thought it was friendship and then when i realised, i bought a ring and planned on proposing to you but then i got cornered into proposing to Lisa. What i'm trying to say here Dec, I guess is that I love you."
"Awwwww. Shut up and kiss me you daft sod"
"Wake up wake up! everything's ready all you need to do is throw on trousers and a tee and then you're all set. I sorted everything for you so you could get up in five minutes... well seven so i could do this" with that he pulled Ant in for his first birthday kiss of the day
"I love you" Dec whispered into his ear
"And i love you too but how do you have this much energy? Im completly zonked"
"You'll be worse tomorow, trust me. "
And wiith that Ant threw on his clothes, went to the loo and walked out the hotel room after kissing Dec once again.
The seccond they were in the van Dec fell asleep, which was faster then usual but Ant soon joined him.
"Givus some of that bun Ant, you don't really want to eat the whole thing yourself do you?"
"It's my birthday and i'll eat what i want thank you very much"
"Just one bite, i'm sure you'll have plenty more to eat later."
"Oh go on then"
"Ta" and with that Dec took the biggest bite, so big he couldn't chew it all up
Sometime later, still during the live show, Dec gave Ant a cup cake
"I cannat believe you gave us such a small cake. So Rude! and i gave you part of my sandwich"
"That wasn't your real cake though Ant, YOu can't really eat tripple chocolate for breakfast can you?"
"MMM tripple chocolat, Sounds Yum"
"It will be"
And true to his word, later that day Ant had a trippl chocolate cake.
"I don't deserve you Dec, i really don't"
"Nope and that's why we work so well, time to Partay!"
yep, just like all the other birthdays the boys got terrilbly dunk and it was the only night during the whole show where they fell asleep after only a few kisses. It would be the next day Ant would get his other present from Dec.
be warned... it gets very soppy
"You looked very camp with your hair all spiked up this morning Ant"
"Well i'd rather look camp then look like some tourist wearing an egiptian shirt like you were when we met those celebrities on that boat"
"Hmpf. I can't help what i wear that's my stylists words and i had words with her. Besides that was only one day. Your hair was spiked up both days"
"Is there a point to all this. Are you saying i shouldn't spike my hair up? I think it's allright. In any case it's not half as bad as our singing days"
"Well i did have a point which i would have made sooner except you seemed persistant on mocking my shirt" grumbled Dec
"Well spit it out then. What was this point?"
"That it made you even cuter, almost as cute as me and..."
"Almost as cute as you? I take that as a complement"
"You should, as i was saying and that if it's spiked up again tonight you'll have a rather pleasent night"
"Ooooh I'll go get my gel" Ant stood up laughing but before he could walk away Dec said
"Oy! where's my kiss? You still got to be nice to me. There's more to you then hair"
"My someone's in a complementary mood all of a sudden"
"I'm just happy we're togther again. And besides if i were in this for looks i'd of chosen a different forhead"
"Right No kiss for that then! and i'm not gelling me hair"
Ant sat back down on his deck chair (no pun intnded) by the pool
Dec pouted and went to sit on Ant's lap looking cheekily into his eyes.
Ant only lasted 30 secconds before pulling Dec into a kiss
"Please ant will you spike up your hair for me. YOu should be happy that i love you for who you are and not just your looks"
Ant sighed, Dec moved off him again as Ant stood up to go spike his hair leaving a smilling Dec knowing he had won, having persuaded Ant not only to spike his hair but also to kiss him. He loved manipulating Ant.
this might seem a little weird as i wrote it at a police station (huuuge missunderstanding)
"Come on Ant, let's do something adventurous today, it's our last day before filming starts. You can play gold and swim some other day. It's our last day together where we are off camera."
"We could just stay in bed all day decers, doin nothing... well maybe not nothing but not leaving the hotel room"
"We did that yesterday remember? And as much as i love doing almost nothing with you all day, by which i'm guessing the almost means sex, i want to do something fun. and then we'll be back by four and i'll willingly spend the rest of the evening doin hem almost hem nothing with you"
"does it have to be diving with sharks though? can't we just go on rollercoasters?"
"come on ant you big softie. Don't make me seduce you!"
"ooooh i like the sound of seduction!"
with that Dec tries his best (failing miserably in other words) to strut sexily towards Ant, pulling him into a deep, pasionate kiss and pulling him towards the door.
"We won't be able to do any of this kissing on the boat or underwater you know"
"well then it's a jolly good thing we're not going diving with sharks isn't it"
"but you said..."
"I lied." with that Dec blindolded Ant and, holding his hand marched him off towards the sea.
"Are we there yet?"
"almost, patience there ol chap"
"That's easy for you to say. You're not blindfolded"
"Don't you trust me Ant?"
"Corse i do babes" replied Ant trying to kiss Dec but only managing in bumping noses
Dec pulled off Ant's blindfold
"It's a beach. Just like half of Australia. What's so special about a beach?"
"well derr, look arround. We're the only two people on it. The owners are on holiday and they said we could use it i gave them our autograph for their grandchildren. Good ay?"
"I don't get it...it's still just a beach"
"Yer but no one can see us ay? so we can go skinny dipping and kiss all we want with no one seing us. We're free to be a couple outside of the hotel room. Isn't that great? Ant?"
"Yer corse it is i just didn't realise you felt so strongly about this givvus a kiss"
Dec pecked Ant quicikly on the lips then, giving one of his cheekiest grins began stripping his clothes off shouting "I'll race ya" to Ant.
Dec one and as a prize Ant swam arround for a while with DEc on his back.
They wwen't back that evening exhausted and collapsed on the bed.
"Ant, i don't feel like having sex tonight, can we just sleep and i'll make it up to you's tomorow?"
"I thought you'd never ask."
"Love you more"
So Ant and Dec fell asleep, DEc once again wrapped up protctively in Ant's arms where they slept almost instantly until their alarm sounded at 1 am.
"Can you believe it was over twenty years ago that we met? Seems like so much less. Only twenty to go until we come out"
"Ay, that party was great last night!"
"That it was, but i'd of rather spent the time alone just the two of us"
"Don't tell me you've booked over our anual 'business meeting' Lisa let me go away for the whole weekend."
"Ooooh that's nice butt that's to celebrate our 19 year aniversary. We won't be able to do anything special to celebrate 20 years together"
"We will , I promise" said ant pulling Declan even closer to him and kissing him delicately on the head. "Now i really must get back to Lisa before she come a knockin. its gone 2 already "
"Fine. I'll see you later... or will it be tomorow?"
"I'll try and get Lisa to invite you round for dinner to celebrate our success with her ."
"oooh goody! i hope it's pork"
"haha I love you Declan Donelly, i really do"
"And i love you Anthony McPartlin"
The very next weekend
"It's not fair. Lisa gets you, she gets all of you whenever she wants where as i only get you when you after an occasional night out with the lads or a day for our anniversarry or when in Aus. I don't even gt you for britains got talent anymore cos Lisa's Stephen's make up artist"
"You get my heart though, which is something Lisa will never get and you get to look after me when i'm old and crepid."
"haha i'm older then you don't forget, and what i mean is, how many times a year do we get to spend an evening together followed by the night, just the two of us. twice, three times a year? and it's all in december. I'm with you for more then shags and sleep after a drunken night you know"
"I should hope so, the amount of tims i've risked my neck for you"
"It's just so hard sometimes. Not being able to be as close as we are now. Just us two, no one here to judge or be offended. I wish we were always like this."
"so do i babes so do i"
with that the lads fell asleep, Dec comfortably tucked up, tightly in Ants protective arms just the way they liked iit.
comments are appreciated
Ten reasons Dec loved playing golf:
1. It was peaceful, a time to take a breather from the rather hectic lifestyle
2. It kept him fit so he didn’t have to spend quite so much time at the gym
3. Yet another chance to compete against Dec
4. Embaressing photos were harder to obtain
5. He could set some of his own goals and his abilities didn’t depend on the partner
6. It was fun to intergrte it into his jokes
7. It was a link between him and other celebrities
8. He could show that he was normal after all (even if he was a bit young to be playing)
9. Him and Ant always ended up having a laugh and more often then not creating a new private joke
10. The most important: He could stare at Ant’s arse without him noticing
So this wasn’t the type of sport where you could get real close with one another but what is with the exception of dancing of course which they would never do.
And then there was Ant and Dec’s Saturday night takeaway where they had the Whats next, the beat the boys and Ant Vs. Dec.
Whats next was by far the best cos they were so close to one another then it was beat the boys as they had the strange costumes and were so close in the car. They would always run off to find the other one to see what they were wearing and would normally end up laughing so hard they were practically crying falling into one another. Plus when they showed the footage they were able to sit so clos to one another that their knees were touching, occasionally falling into one another catching the mugs and shirts.
Ant vs. Dec would separate them yet they were able to work together occasionally all the same. Escapology was probably the best, gtting caught in the rope so that they had to stand so closely linked and then there was the puppets. You could tell a puppet anything and provide the answers you were after. Sumo was nice while it lasted. They’d rehearsed the night before without telling anyone and Dec had one except that both their “knickers” had fallen off which left Dec slightgly light headed and having to think about birds to hide what was happening.
The opening skits were fun as well. Having Ant kiss him on the cheek, getting his bottom pinched and then knowing that part of his saliva was now making it’s way through Ant’s system. So many good memories except that as far as Ant was concerned they were just friends. Nothing more. What was Ant to do? He couldn’t really admit his feelings in case it ruined their friendship which he would never be able to face.
Whenever he thought he had mastered his feelings something else happened. Britiains got talent, Ant would suddenly dance with him, put his legs up on him brush his arse or more memorably when those two gymnasts were performing and were so nervous they were standing in a professional pose and Ant took Dec and did the same to him, the puppets too and the cheeky girls skit on the semi finals. He could never get Ant out of his head.
Why was life so unfair?
"Ant, don't you find our dance teacher hot?" asked Dec as he practised their newest dance routine for the hundreth time trying to look perfect so that he could please her.
"Ay she's allright though you could do better"
"You can talk, you could do better then Lisa you know!"
"No i couldn't. i fell in love with some one else but they were too good for me."
"Oh aye was this the time when you were acting mighty strange-like and refused to tell me why?"
"i'm still not gonna tell you though. Some other day when i'm married or your married i promise"
"you'll prbably get married before me mate at the rate i'm going"
"Oh you'll find the one soon enough, i know you will. You just have that way about i don't know what it is but you attract girls"
"ay but i never get the one person i want, it' s strange how life is like that isn't it..."
"So why the sudden interest in the dance teacher? And who's the lucky lady"
"I don't fancy her i just thought she was hot and as for the lady i won't tell you until you tell me. Even stephens"
"Oy you don't fancy her? The whats with all this excess dancing then?"
"Well, if i dance super well i might have a better chance with this person a like"
Little did Ant now Dec was actually dancing to try and keep Ant's eyes on him. Ant was his 'special person' he just didn't kknow how to tell him. The kept trying to see if their was interest and occasionally if only for the briefest of secconds he showed an interest then he just panned out again. He thought the allusion to the teacher would have created a bigger reaction but obviously not.
If anything Ant seemed slighlty less interested. He would have to try a new approach.
"I'm all yours" Such ambiguous words and unfortunately for Ant, they weren't being used in the sense he wanted them to be.
He had just asked Dec if he could ask a favour of him, wanting him to go shopping with him as he was in dire need of a new suit. Well, that and he just wanted to spend a little time with Dec.
He wasn't too sure when he started having these strange feeings but all he knew was that being arround dec made him happy. Made him feel special, yet at the same time as if he belonged. He could just sit for hours on end next to him on a sofa, their knees touching without feeling at all uncomfortable. That was the best thing about Dec, the way he could make Ant feel relaxed in any situation.
If only Dec were to make some sort of telltale sign that he were remotely interested in Ant the way Ant was towards him, he would grasp at it for all it was worth knowing full well that their friendship would survive if Dec didn't feel the same way, they could both put it down to external pressure but this would only be feasale if Dec showed a little small interest in him. Instead they spent the wholes time talking about footy and their future plans.
"All right then Ant, you're looking even more miserable then usual, what is it?"
"Why do we always talk about footy and our career? We're best mates surely theirs more out there we can talk about then that"
"Well we love footy and we love our jobs... what else is their we can talk about in public in any case? Is everything allright with you and Lisa is that what you wan to talk about? Is that why you brought us here cos you normally do your shopping online."
that was true thought Ant. There was little else they could talk about in public right now and he most definitely did not want to talk about Lisa.
"I dunno it just seems like we're always doing the same thing day in day out i'm getting a bit bored of it to be honest, i want a bit of a change. Isn't their something interesting you read or saw recently? something cool/? i dunno i just want a bit of a change"
"You know what Ant, i think you're right. Let's go to a theme park this weekend. How abouts Disney Land in Paris, thats a change of scenery and we can probably find somewhere we can talk and just be ourselvs whithout others sound good?"
Dec to myself for a whole weekend! (